Yesterday
was the 3rd. I spend all night at the Hospital with my Girfriend, I felt I had to watch over it. so i didn't took the time. Even though i got insights and met people i will incorporate into my rituals, later more.
Today i took my Meditation, my bones where heavy be sleep, I asked myself where my fear comes from, after a couple of minutes my body pointed me to a cramplike feeling in my Stomach, I embraced it and let it grow over my body, i felt left alone, but also whole.as it grew it became more positive and waves from my Stomach swept over my whole body, like i was the middle of a lake. A pure Feeling. I waved for a while. and then my tiredness overtook me. I didn't want my tiredness take hold of the rest of meditation and stopped. Also the thought overcame, that my tiredness maybe was a safety reflex of my body, but i can't clearly tell since i didn't start out with the best conditions.
I have to investigate
tomorrow
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